Catherine and Kevin Fitzpatrick sort through accumulated stuff spanning 27 years.
EMBRACING DOWNSIZING
Stories and photos by Jackie Wilson
A dream home established decades ago may have provided an ideal place to raise a family. These homes often included a huge back yard, numerous bedrooms and ample basement storage containing toys, seasonal decor and more.
Yet, when the kids grow up and move on, suddenly the house seems too big, and it’s too much work. Chores, such as plucking weeds, mowing grass and shoveling snow, can seem endless. Storage bins contain rarely used items that now take up too much space.
After living in the same home, many empty nesters find it’s time to downsize — to cozy into a smaller place with less to clean and no lawn to maintain.
In our debut issue of SENIORVIEW, we feature three stories from Des Moines area folks who have downsized. We discovered they all share one thing in common: nobody wants their china dish set. They offer advice and encouragement and discover a sense of peace in letting go of years of accumulated things and moving into a “just-right” home.
Renting keeps options open
Kevin and Catherine Fitzpatrick raised two sons in their West Des Moines home. With 27 years of home ownership, the couple recently sold their house and moved into a downtown Des Moines apartment.
They opted to rent first, as they want to keep their travel plans and future living locale open. They felt home ownership would limit their travel plans.
“The lawn mowing and upkeep of owning a house is crazy,” Kevin says. “I started cranking the numbers. We could sell the place, rent and still not burn through it all.”
The couple found a spot at Gray’s Station in a brand-new, sleek, two-bedroom apartment with a view of downtown Des Moines, close to bike trails and, most importantly, no maintenance. A few years prior, they spent a month renting a spot downtown to determine if they liked the area.
Friends questioned, “Why not buy instead of renting a place?”
Catherine recalls, “Friends said to us, ‘Are you out of your mind?’ We toyed with the idea of buying a townhouse but didn’t think we’d be in the area that long. We didn’t want to deal with HOA (home ownership association) fees.”
Kevin adds, “Properties in downtown don’t appreciate as much. Tax abatements go away.”
Another reason for renting is the couple plans to move out of state. They also rented a place for a month in Colorado and Phoenix. By renting, they established desired features and were able to determine what they can or can’t live without.
“We discovered our limit. We could live in a smaller place,” Catherine says.
The next task was to go through boxes of items to keep, donate, sell or throw away. They took pictures of stuffed animals and sent them to their sons with a warning that items would be tossed if they didn’t claim them.
Both Catherine and Kevin received and stored dozens of boxes after their parents died and didn’t want their kids to go through the same thing.
“We both cleaned out our parents’ places. I don’t want to leave it up to the kids to deal with,” Kevin says.
The pair leisurely sorted through a couple sections of items each evening. Then, suddenly, they ramped up their efforts. Their grandson heard they were selling their place and wanted to buy it. With a quick deadline, they had to make a decision.
“We asked, are we ready to do it? Our grandson was the impetus to kick us into gear,” Kevin explains.
They sold bigger items online. Their grandson also needed home items, which made it easy.
“That’s the nice thing about selling it to a relative,” he says. “You can leave a lot of stuff and not have to move it.”
Catherine recently sold her wedding dress, which evoked many memories, but she says the most difficult part about leaving her home is a lack of a garden in her new place.
“I usually plant flowers and an herb garden in the spring. Not this year,” she reflects. “I will have pots on my new terrace.”
Now, without the burden of home ownership, Catherine and Kevin can explore and travel. The couple likes nature activities, running, biking and fitness.
“I’m looking forward to being free from owning property, to do what we want, when we want,” Kevin says.
Retirement community
Sorting through a home with more than a half-century of memories — and “stuff” — can be an arduous task.
Marion Singleton, 89, lived in her two-story West Des Moines home 11 years after her husband, Roy, passed away. In that home, they raised three children.
Her adult kids encouraged her to find a new place where she didn’t have to hire out snow removal or lawn work.
Once she told her kids she was ready to move, all three kids came back the next week to look at retirement and 55-plus communities.
The task of cleaning out a home that she and Roy moved into in the 1970s seemed daunting.
“I thought, what am I going to do with all this stuff? My kids didn’t want any of it. They all had their own,” she says.
Marion hired a service that helped her pack up items to sell or give away. A percentage of the sales goes back to the owner.
“I didn’t make money. I just wanted to get rid of it,” she explains.
One item she owned was her china dish set, all displayed in her china cabinet. She inherited her mom’s china set and silver flatware.
“I’ve had these pieces in my home forever. I got it when I was first married, so it was hard to get rid of,” she reflects. “I’m disappointed the kids didn’t want it, but I don’t blame them. Nobody wants china anymore.”
Every time her adults kids came home, she would instruct them to go through their old bedrooms and take items. A friend helped sort through things, asking questions like, “Why do you have that? Do you think you really need it?”
As she sifted through the clutter, Marion says it was helpful for someone not attached to her things to assist with organization. However, she had one regret.
“I got rid of a few things I wish I hadn’t,” she reflects. “Now I miss something I wish I would have kept.”
As she loved Christmas and hosting parties, it was tough giving away holiday décor. Yet, her granddaughter in Texas was eager to snap up grandma’s Christmas items.
“I’m glad she wanted it,” Marion says.
She suggests when sorting out home items to put things in a “maybe” pile first and then come back to it.
“Look at it more than once,” she says. “But once you get rid of something, let it go.”
Marion easily settled into her new living space. If she doesn’t want to cook, she can purchase meals at the on-site restaurant. She says the best part of her new place is the people.
“I didn’t think I’d like being around a lot of people, but there’s a nice bunch of people here. At my age, you either take it or leave it,” she reflects. “You might as well run with it.”
Downsized twice
Pam Rothlauf of Des Moines downsized from a six-bedroom home to a three-bedroom home five years ago, shortly after her husband died.
But she’s not done downsizing. She is cleaning out her current home and hopes to find a two-bedroom townhouse or condo this summer. She is looking for spot with no stairs or yard work to do.
The family lived in the Drake neighborhood for 30 years and raised two sons. The house was formerly a duplex, and she didn’t want the upkeep.
“I didn’t want to be a landlord, and there was a lot of lawn to mow,” she says. “I wanted a smaller house.”
The first time she moved, she hired an auction service to get rid of home items.
“My husband had a lot of tools,” she says.
Now, as she is ready to move into a smaller spot, she thought it would be easy to downsize a second time. Yet, she pondered what items she really needed.
Pam attended a decluttering workshop at the Des Moines Library and hired a professional home organizer to assist in helping sort out items.
“I knew I needed someone to talk through things with,” she reflects. “I didn’t feel pressure to get rid of things. It was me who decided what needed to go.”
The organizer helped carry and pack boxes and found spots to donate items.
“I didn’t want to take stuff to where it might get dumped. She suggested different organizations that needed different items,” she explains.
A dream home established decades ago may have provided an ideal place to raise a family. These homes often included a huge back yard, numerous bedrooms and ample basement storage containing toys, seasonal decor and more.
Yet, when the kids grow up and move on, suddenly the house seems too big, and it’s too much work. Chores, such as plucking weeds, mowing grass and shoveling snow, can seem endless. Storage bins contain rarely used items that now take up too much space.
After living in the same home, many empty nesters find it’s time to downsize — to cozy into a smaller place with less to clean and no lawn to maintain.
In our debut issue of SENIORVIEW, we feature three stories from Des Moines area folks who have downsized. We discovered they all share one thing in common: nobody wants their china dish set. They offer advice and encouragement and discover a sense of peace in letting go of years of accumulated things and moving into a “just-right” home.
Renting keeps options open
Kevin and Catherine Fitzpatrick raised two sons in their West Des Moines home. With 27 years of home ownership, the couple recently sold their house and moved into a downtown Des Moines apartment.
They opted to rent first, as they want to keep their travel plans and future living locale open. They felt home ownership would limit their travel plans.
“The lawn mowing and upkeep of owning a house is crazy,” Kevin says. “I started cranking the numbers. We could sell the place, rent and still not burn through it all.”
The couple found a spot at Gray’s Station in a brand-new, sleek, two-bedroom apartment with a view of downtown Des Moines, close to bike trails and, most importantly, no maintenance. A few years prior, they spent a month renting a spot downtown to determine if they liked the area.
Friends questioned, “Why not buy instead of renting a place?”
Catherine recalls, “Friends said to us, ‘Are you out of your mind?’ We toyed with the idea of buying a townhouse but didn’t think we’d be in the area that long. We didn’t want to deal with HOA (home ownership association) fees.”
Kevin adds, “Properties in downtown don’t appreciate as much. Tax abatements go away.”
Another reason for renting is the couple plans to move out of state. They also rented a place for a month in Colorado and Phoenix. By renting, they established desired features and were able to determine what they can or can’t live without.
“We discovered our limit. We could live in a smaller place,” Catherine says.
The next task was to go through boxes of items to keep, donate, sell or throw away. They took pictures of stuffed animals and sent them to their sons with a warning that items would be tossed if they didn’t claim them.
Both Catherine and Kevin received and stored dozens of boxes after their parents died and didn’t want their kids to go through the same thing.
“We both cleaned out our parents’ places. I don’t want to leave it up to the kids to deal with,” Kevin says.
The pair leisurely sorted through a couple sections of items each evening. Then, suddenly, they ramped up their efforts. Their grandson heard they were selling their place and wanted to buy it. With a quick deadline, they had to make a decision.
“We asked, are we ready to do it? Our grandson was the impetus to kick us into gear,” Kevin explains.
They sold bigger items online. Their grandson also needed home items, which made it easy.
“That’s the nice thing about selling it to a relative,” he says. “You can leave a lot of stuff and not have to move it.”
Catherine recently sold her wedding dress, which evoked many memories, but she says the most difficult part about leaving her home is a lack of a garden in her new place.
“I usually plant flowers and an herb garden in the spring. Not this year,” she reflects. “I will have pots on my new terrace.”
Now, without the burden of home ownership, Catherine and Kevin can explore and travel. The couple likes nature activities, running, biking and fitness.
“I’m looking forward to being free from owning property, to do what we want, when we want,” Kevin says.
Retirement community
Sorting through a home with more than a half-century of memories — and “stuff” — can be an arduous task.
Marion Singleton, 89, lived in her two-story West Des Moines home 11 years after her husband, Roy, passed away. In that home, they raised three children.
Her adult kids encouraged her to find a new place where she didn’t have to hire out snow removal or lawn work.
Once she told her kids she was ready to move, all three kids came back the next week to look at retirement and 55-plus communities.
The task of cleaning out a home that she and Roy moved into in the 1970s seemed daunting.
“I thought, what am I going to do with all this stuff? My kids didn’t want any of it. They all had their own,” she says.
Marion hired a service that helped her pack up items to sell or give away. A percentage of the sales goes back to the owner.
“I didn’t make money. I just wanted to get rid of it,” she explains.
One item she owned was her china dish set, all displayed in her china cabinet. She inherited her mom’s china set and silver flatware.
“I’ve had these pieces in my home forever. I got it when I was first married, so it was hard to get rid of,” she reflects. “I’m disappointed the kids didn’t want it, but I don’t blame them. Nobody wants china anymore.”
Every time her adults kids came home, she would instruct them to go through their old bedrooms and take items. A friend helped sort through things, asking questions like, “Why do you have that? Do you think you really need it?”
As she sifted through the clutter, Marion says it was helpful for someone not attached to her things to assist with organization. However, she had one regret.
“I got rid of a few things I wish I hadn’t,” she reflects. “Now I miss something I wish I would have kept.”
As she loved Christmas and hosting parties, it was tough giving away holiday décor. Yet, her granddaughter in Texas was eager to snap up grandma’s Christmas items.
“I’m glad she wanted it,” Marion says.
She suggests when sorting out home items to put things in a “maybe” pile first and then come back to it.
“Look at it more than once,” she says. “But once you get rid of something, let it go.”
Marion easily settled into her new living space. If she doesn’t want to cook, she can purchase meals at the on-site restaurant. She says the best part of her new place is the people.
“I didn’t think I’d like being around a lot of people, but there’s a nice bunch of people here. At my age, you either take it or leave it,” she reflects. “You might as well run with it.”
Downsized twice
Pam Rothlauf of Des Moines downsized from a six-bedroom home to a three-bedroom home five years ago, shortly after her husband died.
But she’s not done downsizing. She is cleaning out her current home and hopes to find a two-bedroom townhouse or condo this summer. She is looking for spot with no stairs or yard work to do.
The family lived in the Drake neighborhood for 30 years and raised two sons. The house was formerly a duplex, and she didn’t want the upkeep.
“I didn’t want to be a landlord, and there was a lot of lawn to mow,” she says. “I wanted a smaller house.”
The first time she moved, she hired an auction service to get rid of home items.
“My husband had a lot of tools,” she says.
Now, as she is ready to move into a smaller spot, she thought it would be easy to downsize a second time. Yet, she pondered what items she really needed.
Pam attended a decluttering workshop at the Des Moines Library and hired a professional home organizer to assist in helping sort out items.
“I knew I needed someone to talk through things with,” she reflects. “I didn’t feel pressure to get rid of things. It was me who decided what needed to go.”
The organizer helped carry and pack boxes and found spots to donate items.
“I didn’t want to take stuff to where it might get dumped. She suggested different organizations that needed different items,” she explains.
Pam gave fabrics and materials to churches for quilting. Electronics were tossed in a separate bin for recycling. She opted not to sell items.
“I know a lot of people sell stuff. Why not help someone else? It gives them a boost and makes their day,” Pam reflects. “A lot of people need help these days.”
While sorting through the bedrooms and basement, Pam says she is amazed at how much she brought over after the first move.
“I’d pull stuff out from the closet and think. why in the world do I still have this?” she laughs.
Pam recalls how she helped clean out her mother-in-law’s home after her death, which contained two generations of stuff.
“My mother-in-law’s parents lived there, too. It was a nightmare to clean it all out. I don’t want my kids to have to go through that,” she says.
Pam got rid of her china dishes. Her Emmet Kelly clowns ended up in the donation pile, too.
“A friend of mine collected Hummel figurines. They were worth pennies when they sold them,” she says.
As Pam continues to purge and donate, she is happy to pass items on to her grandson. Her two sons get first pick of things she no longer needs.
“There are so many memories tied up in things,” she reflects. “The memories aren’t gone because the item is gone. The memories are still there.”
Marion Singleton views a cherished antique set and a painting, one of the few items she kept after downsizing her home.
Pam Rothlauf downsized from a six-bedroom to a three-bedroom house. Her next move is to a one-level, maintenance-free condo.